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Connection instead of Obligation

March 11, 2025 Leadership

This coaching tip was originally published in the Coaching for Excellence newsletter.

How would you feel if your significant other showed up to your date night out of obligation instead of to connect with you? You’d feel a range of emotions. And over time there’s a chance you’d start to withdraw.

I share this example because many managers facilitate 1:1’s out of obligation. It’s another task to check off your list. What would happen if you saw it as an opportunity to connect with your team and develop their performance? You might argue it’s not the same, and I challenge you to reconsider.

You spend as much time at work as you do awake at home, if not more. Why wouldn’t you invest in the relationships of the people you spend 40+ hours a week? Why do we settle for minimum necessary engagement? Minimum input = minimum output. Data shows relationships play an instrumental role in performance, promotions, referrals, and advocacy (saying your name when you’re not in the room). Team culture is an integral part of the company brand.

1:1’s are an opportunity to connect with your team. It’s an opportunity to reinforce good performance and behavior. An opportunity to course correct. To align performance and goals so you’re both on the same page headed in the same direction.

Breakdowns in relationships and teams occur due to a lack of communication and connection. Making the time to show you care earns you respect and results. There are many talented people on teams unseen, unchallenged, and unheard. What will you do to connect with them and strengthen your relation


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I'm Melissa, a leadership and operations coach for service-based small businesses. 20+ years of experience helping businesses better lead teams and serve clients in new home construction, health insurance, non-profit, property management, retail, and more. My experience is diverse but has one thing in common. “How can I best serve the person in front of me?” I reside in Kansas City and serve clients nationwide. I enjoy meeting people and look forward to getting to know you!

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