In the second interview, Eva sits down with Melissa K. Jones, leadership and operations coach. Melissa shares stories from her experience as a first-time manager. During the conversation, she highlights 5 communication tips for new managers.
5 Communication Tips
- If you want to be promoted, share your goals. Don’t assume people know where you want to go.
- Define your management boundaries with peers. Reset boundaries as needed.
- Be aware of how your verbal and body language are perceived. You set the tone for your team’s energy.
- Be open to learning with your team when faced with challenges. Ask questions.
- Adapt your communication to meet the needs of each individual and scenario.
- 1:08 how Melissa got her first role in management
- 1:59 share your goals with your boss
- 3:01 what do your performance and relationships show
- 4:03 establish boundaries
- 8:04 be friendly, but not friends
- 10:46 how to give constructive feedback
- 14:40 taken seriously and being respected
- 19:20 management challenges and annual reviews
- 20:48 self-awareness and impact
- 22:28 employees who learn at different speeds
- 23:28 get to know your employees
- 24:13 importance of regular 1:1 meetings
- 26:17 communication tips
- 29:01 recognize employee efforts
- 31:01 balancing vulnerability while leading
- 34:45 relating to different employees
Transcript
0:02
hi everyone and welcome welcome to the second interview of women leading people i’m so excited to have my guest
0:09
melissa k jones joining us today and today’s interview is going to be around five communication tips for new
0:16
managers but really we’re going to be covering all of melissa’s story how she got into management and how she has spent the
0:22
last well melissa you’ll tell us how many years but she’s had 20 years of experience as a leader as a leader and now she
0:30
leads businesses and helps businesses um to drive really great results so really excited to have you here
0:36
melissa thank you so much for joining thank you for the invitation evan i’m excited to be here
0:44
wonderful so this woman leading people has been put together to help to inspire and empower women as people managers and i’m
0:51
trying to bring in as many women leaders as i can to help tell their stories and to help empower you
0:56
with their stories as well now we will be open to any comments or questions that you have so feel free
1:02
at any point in the chat just to type in your question and we’ll try to get through it during the interview as well um so
1:08
melissa will get started can you just start by telling us about your how you got into your first role
1:14
within management yes so my first
1:20
jump into leadership for my career was right around the end of my 20th year
1:27
right before my 21st birthday i was working for a property management company at the time here in the states and had an excellent boss
1:36
and she knew my desire to grow within the company and to move up
1:42
into a leadership role and so it had been something that we had talked about in
1:47
our one-on-one reviews and then when a position had opened up she
1:53
shared it with me so that i was able to apply and so i think one the first
1:59
communication tip if you’re starting out or have a desire to be in a leadership management role is to communicate your
2:05
goals with your boss like people don’t know what you want until you tell them
2:10
and so having that conversation early and sharing your goals and not
2:16
expecting them to automatically like assume that you want a promotion and then keeping that communication
2:22
open over the time even if you don’t get that initial role and you’re waiting for something else to
2:27
open up so that’s really important as well with that initial role i was in that
2:33
position for about three months and then i transferred out to a lateral position
2:41
at another property which required me to move to another state and at that property then i did
2:49
the first hiring and bringing on vendors so it was a big role in really just
2:55
proving myself and who i was and what i was capable of but i would say also just going back to
3:01
like trying to get into your first role it’s really important that your performance shows that you’re capable
3:06
of doing work but also how you work with your peers like what’s that
3:12
relationship look like because management is more about personal relationships than it is about
3:19
high performers yeah so you found yourself pretty early on within the
3:24
stages of your career knowing that that’s what you wanted to do how did you find that transition from
3:30
working with your peers to then obviously managing some of them
3:38
so at a young age i would say it was very hard specifically when that first initial
3:44
role when i’m going directly from peers to then a promotion so the one thing that helped me is i wasn’t
3:51
moving directly above my peers but i was still friends with peers that
3:57
were in the role that i was moving into so the and it continues to happen
4:03
throughout my career any time that you’re going into a leadership role a lot of times it’s sometimes within the
4:09
same department or complementary department that you’ve worked with people in that department before
4:14
so two and the communication tips is make sure that you define what the boundaries are now that
4:21
you’re in this new role or reset what those boundaries are it can be really challenging especially
4:26
if you have closer friendships with peers because they’ll
4:32
want to still have those same type of relationships but when you’re in a management role
4:37
you’re responsible for other people and so you’re not allowed to play favorites
4:43
you need to treat everyone the same there’s information that you can’t disclose because you’re looking out for the
4:48
business and for the team and so defining those boundaries is
4:54
critical in order to maintaining the relationship but also having that respect from everybody that you are now
5:01
responsible for so number two define and reset boundaries and i think
5:07
that’s such a hugely important one because like you said it will be people in different departments who you
5:13
will have had a different relationship with so i’d love to hear in practice how do
5:18
you actually have that conversation how do you sit someone down do you call a meeting and what did you say
5:25
and how did they take it if you have some examples from your first experience so
5:34
telling on my age that was a long time ago i would say over 15 years ago so the way that i feel
5:41
the conversation then was way different than how i would how i’d handle the conversation now
5:48
then i didn’t handle the conversation well i would say like one of the first
5:54
things that i had to do when i that first role where i was only there for three months my first time into leadership
6:00
i had to let go of an employee and that was
6:07
really tough because i considered that person a friend outside of work but also within the workplace like they
6:13
weren’t measuring up to the performance standards and there was different things going on and so
6:19
that was a really difficult conversation for me and i know that i didn’t manage it well at the time and
6:27
the good thing is i think with growth and being adults you understand like
6:32
your role and those situations and so we are still
6:38
acquaintances slash friends for that reason now um we could definitely have a
6:44
conversation i ran into them years later in a different setting and we got along well but at that time i
6:51
would say like now looking back what i would do differently is
6:57
exactly what i explained say you know i enjoy our friendship and i enjoy like
7:03
working with you like if they’re not a friend but just like a close acquaintance within the department and say you know i want you to excel and
7:11
i want to do well in my role in order to help everyone that’s on the team so these are the things that
7:17
are going to have to change in order for us to work together so just laying out what the specific
7:24
things are saying like there are certain things that i can’t discuss with you and defining what those
7:30
are so like you can’t define promotions you can’t define salaries you can’t share
7:36
um performance issues like there’s things that you can’t talk about anymore because of the privacy and of
7:44
each individual on the team and respecting those people they wouldn’t want their story told to anybody else so the same applies in that situation
7:53
and again not favoritism so like
7:58
i really had to pull back and not be friends with people that were on
8:04
my team i can be friendly with people on my team i can know them i can know what their interests are i can have like
8:10
great one-on-one relationships because i want to see people excel in their role and be promoted take on
8:16
additional responsibilities but i can’t be your friend because it just creates
8:22
really sticky situations because honestly like we’re all human like we have
8:28
curiosity we want the best for ourselves we tend to be selfish we think things are
8:33
about us when they’re not about us we have a tendency sometimes to overthink situations or to perceive them
8:39
differently based off of like our own personal experiences so really defining in those boundaries and
8:47
having that conversation up front and then also to like if there are things that you notice throughout
8:52
the relationship that you didn’t define initially having that conversation in
8:57
like bringing them back up to speed say like i know i did this in the past this is where i’m at now this is what
9:05
needs to change or what can’t happen and communicating it to them
9:11
if you’re assuming that they know or just like trying to sweep it under the rug
9:17
that’s when elephants grow in the room and it becomes really awkward and it can make
9:22
a bad situation where their performances starts to decline it can increase gossip and so
9:29
as a leader it’s your responsibility to have those hard conversations it’s your responsibility to make sure
9:36
that the elephant doesn’t get in the room and a lot of time the elephant gets in the room because we’re afraid to have those conversations
9:42
definitely and i think those are two great tips so putting yourself forward for the type of role that you want and
9:48
communicating that because people won’t know and also having those difficult conversations setting the
9:54
expectations of the new ways of working together i guess it’s also considering that sometimes
9:59
letting someone go even though it definitely won’t feel like that in the moment is ultimately probably a better move for
10:06
that person because they’re also not getting what they would need to
10:11
excel in their careers so it’s definitely bad news to hear but it probably gives them a much better
10:17
opportunity in future so seeing the potential benefit in the long term that will come from that can
10:22
probably help to make that decision a little bit easier or that conversation a little bit easier
10:28
rather i know that’s definitely something that i’ve had to do as well and it was it was tough um so great so
10:34
having those difficult conversations what’s next
10:41
i would say um in regards to the difficult conversations because i think that’s something that a lot of people
10:46
struggle with like how do i give constructive feedback how do i give feedback when like the performance
10:52
isn’t meeting expectations or you know that someone’s capable of more and i think that first starts with
10:58
making sure that you’re having regular one-on-ones with your team members and really when you’re in a management
11:05
role it’s about people more than it is about performance because if you can get those people
11:10
relationships and you can understand like what stressors they have what motivates them what their goals are
11:16
what their learning styles are all these different things then you can really get out of their way so that they
11:23
can perform really well but also support them and their goals and their
11:28
career whether that’s long term with the company or whether that’s just momentarily within this chapter and they
11:34
do exceptionally well so having those one-on-one conversations is critical because then you build that
11:41
rapport and that trust with the employee that you really care about who they are what their goals are
11:46
that their career path whether it’s within the department or whether they want to long-term move into another role
11:52
or whether this company is a stepping stone for them into something else and that’s completely fine but building
11:59
that trust and rapport because then when it comes time that their performance slides
12:05
or there’s maybe a behavioral issue with a colleague that you can then
12:11
address it and say this is what i’m perceiving
12:17
and then describe the situation ask them [Music] to then share what they saw or
12:24
like what they were doing because you don’t want to automatically assume that you know what was going on
12:30
or to attack them by saying and i put
12:35
parentheses for attack but you don’t want to automatically come at somebody and say i saw you did
12:41
this why did you do this like that automatically makes people close down and become defensive
12:48
and really you are wanting to help them so saying exactly what you observed
12:56
and then asking them to describe the situation to you because there could be and a lot of times there are nuances to
13:03
the situation that you are not aware of so i’ll give you an example one time
13:10
i was sending out emails that had directions for employees in regards to compliance issues
13:15
and i needed them to respond to the email and so majority people responded timely and then i had a
13:21
couple people that were still struggling and hadn’t responded yet and so at the time and
13:29
again this is all part of like the maturity growth curve i saw it as disrespectful because i thought that it was
13:36
intentional that they were choosing to respond and weren’t taking me seriously and
13:44
so i went and had a conversation with the employee and understanding then like the nuance of
13:51
they were just busy and they were overwhelmed and it had nothing to do with me or a lack of
13:57
respect it was just more a matter of like needing help to manage the amount of information that
14:03
was coming through to them and so i think that’s why it’s so important to have
14:08
those one-on-one conversations and build those relationships because then you can understand like the nuance behind different situations when they
14:15
arise so that way you can help people instead of assume things
14:22
and then discourage them even more yeah i think always giving your team and
14:27
this is probably good for all of your communications assume the best until you’re you’re proven otherwise
14:34
because a lot of the times there there will be things that are missing and you actually brought up a really interesting point you said at the time
14:40
you were worried whether they weren’t taking you seriously or that you weren’t being
14:46
respected which is probably quite a common thing to feel as a new manager right you’ve
14:52
come into the role and you’re asking people to do things and people aren’t doing them and then you just
14:58
you kind of you feel that you feel that so how how did you get around that and how did
15:03
you how did you work with that um and kind of yeah i guess handle it
15:10
so i would also go to say that i don’t think that situation is specific to new
15:16
managers i think that extends throughout the lifetime of being responsible for
15:22
people that our ego creeps up and we take things personally and
15:29
it really requires daily to be self-aware of like what our own personal challenges
15:36
are and making sure that we don’t project those on to situations with the people that we’re responsible for but
15:44
in regards to like having that respect to be taken seriously it really comes
15:51
down to communication again and so piggybacking off the previous
15:56
point is like once you ask them to explain the situation then talk to them to say okay these are
16:03
the things that i need from you and the reason why i need them from you because a lot of
16:08
times we know things and we’re just so busy and like
16:13
managing relationships and managing work and making sure that we’re meeting metrics and all the things for the
16:18
department that we forget to share like the importance or the reasoning
16:24
behind all the asks that we have and so
16:30
taking time to explain it to the individual to say okay this is the importance behind it this is
16:36
how it impacts others on the team this is how it impacts customers whatever the case may be so when you put
16:43
them in that position of then ownership of saying like now i know like
16:49
how my role impacts other people and these are the tools and resources that i
16:54
have and she’s doing this for me then it builds that level of respect i always
17:01
believe that you have to respect somebody else in order for them to respect you like respect ideally
17:08
it’s something that should automatically happen um but also i believe that respect just
17:14
like trust is brene brown talked about it a jar of marbles for trust
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and so like there’s a baseline of coming into a relationship you have a standard of trust and respect
17:25
but with every interaction like you can lose marbles or you can add marbles to the jar
17:31
and sometimes like there’s really bad situations that can occur where you can tip the jar over and then it’s really hard to start
17:38
over again so i think keeping that analogy in mind that
17:44
everything that you do contributes to building respect with a team like do your actions match up with what
17:51
you’re telling them to do and the same with trust so in regards to like do they take me
17:58
seriously do they respect me do your actions match your words it’s
18:04
really easy for people in management positions to say that the rules don’t apply to me because i’m
18:10
like i’m in this role i need to do this for some outlier reason and
18:16
so changing things to benefit you and there are probably certain circumstances
18:23
where there will be different things that apply to the team than you if that’s the case
18:29
then it needs to be clearly communicated why they’re extenuating circumstances that
18:35
allow that otherwise if you’re just personally doing it because you can
18:40
then the team will not take you seriously they’ll not take what you’re asking of them seriously and it just
18:48
then contributes to poor performance and hinders morale and retention on the
18:55
team and so respect and being taken seriously really comes with do you do what you say
19:03
you’re going to do and do you lead by example definitely it’s still so important to be
19:10
leading by example even like you said the rules should still apply to you and you should be setting them for
19:16
your team and living by them as well so what other challenges did you face what
19:21
were some of the biggest challenges that you faced in that in that management role
19:27
i would say some of the biggest challenges is one of the first ones and we talked
19:33
about this briefly was annual reviews and so
19:38
the first time that i did an annual review again it was the first team that i had
19:43
really hired everyone on staff and i
19:49
didn’t know the importance of the annual review i had my own previously
19:55
but i didn’t understand like the impact of the entire
20:00
the importance of it and how it impacts someone’s feelings and their outlook and their
20:06
performance and all of that and so in going through and getting ready for
20:12
the performance review i didn’t prepare for it like i should have i didn’t go through each individual step and
20:18
really be intentional about giving it time and thought i was just checking it off on my list
20:23
and so then when it came down to have that conversation with the employee
20:29
i was really like half effort through it i didn’t give it my all and
20:37
the employee could feel that and they were really discouraged and they
20:42
shared that discouragement with others and it became a learning opportunity for me
20:48
on the impact that my words have on my team how i need to prepare for
20:54
every situation because i may not understand like how it’s received and so i need to be intentional
21:01
with my words and my actions and so i just felt so bad about that because i
21:08
had you know it wasn’t intentional like they were valuable and they did great work but there was
21:14
nothing that stood out to me that was like outstanding and i think that’s like the key here is
21:21
like when you’re a leader you’re going to have team members with all different types of performance
21:27
you’re going to have people that struggle you’re going to have people that do what it needs just to meet the
21:32
performance expectations and then you’re going to have people that go above and beyond the people that go above and beyond are
21:38
going to be easy i mean you can see those accomplishments they’re easy to like
21:44
document to share and to put in their personnel file the people that have challenges again
21:52
same thing like they’re visible you know it you’ve talked about it you’ve observed it but sometimes it’s those
21:57
people that are just like in the middle that are just doing what they need that it’s going to be more challenging
22:02
to have those conversations and so hindsight being 20 20.
22:09
that’s where it’s more critical again to have like those one-on-one conversations to get to know the employee like what’s
22:15
important to them what are their goals like what you know is driving them
22:21
what are their situations because i would say like then years later in a different position i
22:28
had another employee who was a slow learner and it took them a
22:35
while to get up to speed on new information and
22:42
because it was like in a compliance industry it was a lot of detail and so having that conversation with
22:49
that individual was really helpful because then i could understand like the specific things that they struggled with
22:54
but i also saw that they really wanted to learn they really
23:00
wanted to try and so by having that conversation and really understanding them better
23:05
then i could give them more room to learn and tools that they needed and support
23:11
that they needed and then over time they became a mentor for other new employees so i
23:17
think the tying that all together from like the first part where it’s like a huge
23:23
challenge and then just learning like how to better communicate
23:28
and ask those questions and really get to know your employees so that you can support them
23:34
is really critical because it’s the difference between discouraging somebody so that they no
23:40
longer want to show up and perform and they look for another job and someone that then can
23:47
continue to excel because they know that you support them and that they can shine it within that business
23:54
and then help others on the team excel as well that’s awesome so with this hindsight of
24:02
you know the annual reviews are really important what would you say is really important to prepare like what would you prepare
24:08
now before going into an annual review
24:13
so it again ties back to one-on-ones so the more often that you have the
24:20
one-on-ones the more information that you have on a regular basis so it makes that you know reviews a lot easier
24:25
um that wasn’t the case when i first started out and so when it’s been a year and you don’t have
24:33
like documentation of things throughout the year to what they’ve done well at what their
24:39
learning opportunities what challenges they’ve encountered and overcome different things of that nature then it
24:45
makes it a lot more challenging when it comes to annual reviews because i mean we’re human we are not going to
24:51
remember things and so typically then when it comes to that time you’re going to remember the things
24:56
that probably happened within the last quarter the last 90 days which really isn’t reflective of the
25:02
entire year and their growth during that time so the frequency and
25:07
cadence of those one-on-ones is key and making sure that you document them and whether it’s qualitative or
25:15
quantitative and seeing like their progression and growth during that time so that way then you do have
25:21
things that are tangible that you can address and talk about during the annual review so that makes it a lot easier for you as
25:26
a leader but then also more effective when you’re talking about specific metrics or specific company
25:32
values that need to be addressed and ideally both quantitative and qualitative
25:38
in fact we know some large businesses have completely abolished the annual reviews and they just don’t run them
25:44
they’ve replaced that with regular and ongoing feedback so it’s kind of like an exam
25:49
don’t leave it until you know the last week just to cram and do everything you should kind of be putting the work
25:55
in every week or regularly when you’re speaking to your employees to make sure that you have something very valuable and have
26:01
good feedback and we know that people act on feedback much better if they receive it
26:06
um immediately just after something they’re more likely to remember it so i think like you said coming back to
26:12
not just the annual review being the one big time where you where you have communication
26:17
with your your employees so what is what is our next communication tip for managers
26:26
i would say also be aware of your delivery and also your
26:33
physical like presentation meaning like how you come across to people i think it’s really i’ll say for myself
26:41
when i’m extremely focused on my work it’s easy for my presence my face to be very serious
26:49
do you have a seriousness and not approachable can you show us your serious faith when
26:55
you’re watching it’s probably during this call when i’m like very focused on delivering a point
27:03
right exactly but i think so just being cognizant of how you come
27:10
across both in your vocal delivery but also in your physical delivery that you are approachable and how your
27:17
demeanor like if you’re positive negative because the energy that you bring to the room that you bring to the
27:24
team is transferable people vibe off of that and pick it up and so like if you come in to the team i
27:31
know most of us are working online now but like let’s say that you enter a
27:36
virtual meeting like how you immediately like greet people and just like your body
27:41
language is it open is it like smiling is it making eye contact as much as we can through a
27:48
video um just those little things like really allow other people to like show
27:53
up and feel seen and feel comfortable having a conversation and even sometimes like those chats
28:02
where you just say hi i’m glad to see you glad you’re here and then words and how we deliver them
28:09
so i tend to be a very direct person and so i have to be very aware
28:15
that when i do share information or have an ask that how i deliver it is received well
28:24
because otherwise someone may be confused they may take offense and
28:30
really i’m just in the moment and making a direct ask is nothing more nothing less and so i don’t
28:36
think that it’s necessary that we need to be flowery and add like a ton of extra like
28:42
verbiage in order to send the message but i do think that it’s like
28:47
including a greeting and recognizing the person and seeing that they’re there is key and then also
28:56
making sure that you appreciate them i think a lot of times we’re so busy in our own work as managers even as
29:01
employees that we don’t pause to recognize the efforts of people on the team and yes there are things that are just
29:09
part of our job but it doesn’t matter like thank you for being here thank you for showing up thank you for the effort
29:15
that you put into the project all of those things make a huge difference
29:20
and they are breathing oxygen into somebody’s work like it gives them
29:27
the initial fuel and energy that they need to continue going on when they have outside stressors and outside work
29:32
and i can remember like some of my favorite bosses and mentors are ones that
29:39
recognized my work and took time to send a note or a card and i still have those
29:45
now um so i think really like your impact on others is so much greater than sometimes
29:52
we realize because again of the own work that we have so just being aware of
29:58
again your presence how you come across to people what you say what you do it means a lot
30:05
definitely and i remember one of my first managers he would typically come in and say good morning to everyone before
30:11
he sat down and he’d always be quite cheerful and some days he would come in and just
30:16
sit right down at his desk and kind of focus and he’d he’d have that faith i definitely have this face when i’m
30:23
focused on something my my family always tell me why why are you making that face so
30:28
he would make that face and we would all think what’s happened has one of us done something wrong because we always think
30:33
it’s a it’s about us sometimes and i think oh what have we messed up now what account is really angry and we’ve
30:39
caused an issue so i think just just being aware that sometimes you’re almost you shouldn’t be in a bad
30:46
mood or if you are you need to like suck it up and just get on the call and don’t transfer the rest of that bad mood
30:53
to everybody yeah i think yes just being conscious of
31:01
that and i’ll say also to like as leaders we’re human too so you know if there’s something going
31:08
on like you can share to the extent that you’re comfortable i don’t have a tendency to over share
31:15
because i don’t think that it’s relevant or important because
31:20
we’re there to serve the team but also too i think it’s important to still have that relationship that we’re human too
31:27
and that we struggle with different things i think sometimes by opening up and having those conversations then you get your team to open up as well
31:34
because a lot of times they can see us as
31:39
invincible or like there’s this appearance that anybody that’s in position of power is like invincible or perfect or you know
31:46
certain things don’t affect them and i know that that has been the tradition for a lot of years and well i think that
31:54
there is value in emotional maturity and emotional discipline there are times
32:01
where it is helpful to open up and say like these are the things that are going on
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and let’s address them let’s share them let’s have a conversation about it and then like
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keep moving i would say specifically like if there’s you know the pandemic for
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example i think like it stresses everybody so if you’re a leader to say look this
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is stressing me out just as it is you i’m sure and like these are the different things
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that i am doing these are the different areas maybe that i’m struggling with and opening up and having that conversation
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with your team puts everybody at ease because one then they know that they’re not struggling alone
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that you can come together and talk about ideas about how you can work through the situation
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but also like not dwelling on it because the point of being a leader is to inspire hope
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to lead the way and to help people so there’s a balance there and you need to
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keep that in mind when you’re going through those types of conversations and you also bring up a really good
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point about most of us or a lot of us working from home now and communication your physical presence
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your mood will be very different you don’t see people in the office all day so i wonder what advice you might have
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or suggestions for managers who are doing this remotely in order to be able to maintain that for
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their teams
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so like one of what if you’re not able to obviously me and a
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lot of us aren’t anymore you can still have phone conversations like don’t force people to do video
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conversations people are exhausted of video conversations and video meetings
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um oh a walking phone call is so much better because then you can
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both like there’s something about like being out in nature and walking and like you have a little bit more
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clarity of thought and so even if it’s just for like 15 minutes a week
34:00
checking in to say like how are you doing how are your projects doing what do you need help with you know what’s coming up on your plate
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those little things that show that you care that you’re making time for them but also like respectful of like their energy in their
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space i think there’s also this fear that because people are working remotely that they’re afraid that they’re not getting
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their work done or they’re not being asked productive because you can’t see them in the office and
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it’s really important more now than ever is to continue to build in that trust
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and so again just checking in doing the phone call sending them notes
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um even sometimes if it’s just like a meme or a gif that’s relevant to something that
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you know about them i think there’s different people that you have different you know conversations with so for
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example i had an employee that loved uh cartoons comics they had their own comic store
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and i they wanted to run their own business and i knew that was important to them and so like i could share things that
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were relevant to that individual because it made sense to them that wouldn’t make sense to anybody else
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that’s showing that you care about them so i think we can do that more now is like if you have those conversations
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what are the little things that will cheer them up um maybe it’s just sending like an audio book
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a lot of times it doesn’t have to be expensive but and there’s a budget for it within the company but to show that you care and that
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you’re there to support them even if you can’t see them and maybe it’s sending a snack
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there’s a lot of different things that you can do and so i think again just remembering that
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we’re all in this together and i know that it’s a cliche but really like we’re all human we all
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have stresses we all want to be seen and so what can you do to support them
35:54
yeah and like you said it’s really important to just have a personalized approach for every person right because
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everyone’s going to be a little bit different and if you’re paying attention if you’re listening then you can do something that’s going
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to be you know that’s going to hit the mark and we’ve actually got a relevant question that’s just come in i’ll pop
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that up so do you find it uh challenging dealing with cultural differences
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in attitudes and behaviors at work thanks so much neil
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thank you for the question so i think that’s a great question and especially
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in the climate that we’re at in where there’s an increased focus on inclusion diversity and
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[Music] making sure that our numbers within our teams reflect that
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so i’ll start from the beginning that through the entire course of my career
36:48
whether hiring promoting working beside it’s always been diverse
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i’ve been blessed in that opportunity so it’s been rare that i haven’t
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worked with people that were not from a different culture what i would say is that there
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sometimes seems to be within a lot of literature at this time that’s more formalized
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that it makes it tough and just sticky and it’s not it doesn’t need
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to be that way like at the end of the day like what i was saying earlier is we all share similar fears
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similar concerns we all still want the same things out of life so if you just treat the individual
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in front of you with respect and care and ask questions to get to know who they are
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what they value what’s important to them like leave everything outside like
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i don’t care what people’s religion is i don’t care like what their political beliefs are like who are you as a person
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and like what’s important to you and then once you get to know that person then you can like really help them
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and i would say probably 80 of my last team
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and that might be a little bit higher um was from a different culture and
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so i didn’t have a challenge working with them because again i saw
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that as individuals now i will say like each individual is going to have different things that are important to them and so
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yes you will have different challenges with each individual person because they have different desires they have
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different dreams they have different stressors at home but if you have those conversations to get to know who they are
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then it makes it so much easier to work with them and so just making sure that i’m
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answering your question it is the attitudes and behaviors do you think that there are
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behaviors that are innate to certain cultures but also i would
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encourage you to be careful with that because a lot of times we have this
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stereotype of cultures that has been presented to us through the media that’s wrong
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it may apply to certain people but it doesn’t apply to all and so again that goes back to the
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importance of building those one-on-one relationships because you really do yourself a disservice if you assume that because
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they belong to a certain culture they’re automatically going to have this attitude or behavior or belief or whatever the case may be
39:37
every single person is going to be different and so i think if
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anything yes there is a challenge probably when you’re first starting to develop those relationships and that challenge
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comes from fear of being rejected fear of embarrassment phil of like
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it’s awkward to have conversation and not knowing where it is but there’s also strength in being
40:02
vulnerable strength and having the courage to have those conversations and it’s really just like if you’re
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mindful and intentional about your words and how you come across and really genuinely show that you care
40:16
that you’re curious that you want to get to know them for who they are and to help them and then everything else you can wash
40:22
away so i would really encourage to anyone listening like those one-on-one relationships are
40:29
critical whether you’re leading a team or just building relationships with people from different cultures
40:36
thanks so much melissa i think what what came to mind when i was looking at the question as well were
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just attitudes towards work or work-life balance even for example i know this is
40:48
definitely something that comes up when i’m working in the uk when i or europe and talking to people from the states
40:54
working hours or you know taking holidays this is extremely different and when i’m
41:00
managing a team that’s across both um i think that um that definitely
41:06
comes up i’ll just bring up uh response great answer i definitely think that women in senior roles tend to be better at seeing the individual
41:12
rather than necessarily the the cultural differences but what do you think about attitudes
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towards uh work now that’s a great question so
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yes there is definitely a difference between like and european culture
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other um countries
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so one up front i haven’t had to address that i haven’t had that within my
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experience where i need to like figure out how to adapt to that so i think it goes back to like any time when
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you’re in a new situation is getting to know the other person and like what is like their standard
41:55
and then also understanding like what the company needs and then trying to figure out like how can you balance that within the
42:01
middle i would say even within the pandemic like there’s been such a shift in work performance standards
42:08
because people now obviously they’ve had kids at home and so there’s a lot of what was
42:14
structured previously has been thrown out the window and there’s a lot more flexibility and like scheduling
42:20
and projects and work so specifically like i think defining
42:28
what needs to be done like what are the things that the business needs to obtain
42:33
what are the business goals and like what are the individual goals and then how people choose to like achieve it that’s
42:40
where probably we need to have a lot more flexibility and saying like okay if you choose to
42:46
like have a different schedule if you need like more break time or whatever the case may be
42:51
as long as the work gets done me personally i don’t care like as long as the work gets done and the work gets done well
42:59
how you do it or when you do it really doesn’t matter to me now i will say
43:04
how you do it there will be some nuance to that because there are certain industries and certain types of
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work where it is very particular and that’s important but in regards to like cultural
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differences where i think the laid back and get work
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done and work is a i was thinking about this the other day
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i think the biggest is some people choose like
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work just like it’s a means to survival where people other people live to work and so
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that is a huge difference because it impacts how people show up in their
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drive and what they do and
43:51
there’s room for both and there’s a reason for both so i believe that you can find some
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middle ground or balance in between the two so again great question thank you for asking and
44:03
making me think about that well i guess it’s also sometimes a company defining what their
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culture is going to be and i think that’s going to become increasingly important as we’re working more globally and remotely with
44:15
employees everywhere with so much flexibility it’s going to be up to every business to define that and communicate that to
44:22
their organization but i know we’re coming up to time so melissa i’d love to recap you know what you think your five
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communication tips for managers uh are and then also just to hear more about what you’re doing right now
44:35
great thank you so first one share your goals make sure that you clearly define your
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goals if you’re wanting to move up in a position whether you want to move up into management or whether you’re already in management
44:46
want to move up to an executive position then make sure that you define your
44:51
boundaries and reset them as needed when working with peers that you are number three self-aware
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with how your words are received for being open to learning from your
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team asking questions and making sure that you have that open dialogue
45:08
and then five understanding how you may need to adapt your communication style
45:13
to again like the needs of different teams or different cultures like you were saying and so
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just being aware of your presence that’s great so melissa tell us a little bit more about what you’re what you’re working on
45:26
right now so my favorite project right now is a little bit traditional it’s going back
45:33
to having a monthly print newsletter for leaders in business and it focuses on
45:39
three pillars leadership mindset and operations specifically like customer success and i send that out every month
45:47
to readers and i love it it’s an easy way for people to step away unplug and to get some
45:55
information that’s relevant to their role that can encourage them and empower them to be better leaders
46:01
that’s wonderful thank you so much and we will share the details in the comments below so do look out for those but melissa thank you so much
46:09
uh for joining me this evening it’s been an absolute pleasure and hearing your story um yeah feel free
46:15
to post any questions and we will respond to those and yeah i hope you have a great rest of the day
46:22
have a great day thank you bye